Madison May McCall (maddymay) wrote in whistlerspoint,
Madison May McCall
maddymay
whistlerspoint

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Long Time Gone

I'm in Seattle. It is almost fall and I'm going for my second year in college. It has been so long. I haven't never written down what happen. It hurts to much. even now. It kills me inside. I miss him so much. I made my confession over it but the pain is not gone. I can not recall a pain that hurt so much has losing him. Nicky, my brother.

I had just gotten home from friday night mass. My door was open. I entered slowly. I was careful. Than I saw and my worries melted away. "What are you doing?" He didn't answer me. He turned. He looked at me, there was something about him I can't place. Maybe it was the idea he was carrying inside himself. "Outside." He spoke low brushing past me, the sword he had given me hung lose at his side. I turned worried. "Phoenix?" I followed him down into the ally way. He handed me my sword. "I need your help" "Anything,I can do. I will." it took the blade and put the point to his heart. "Kill me." "What? NO!" "I need you to. I change everything, fix everything. If I die tonight." "I can't..I won't, Nicky. No." I was crying, I think. I have relived that night a million times but the little details slip away. "You can. You have to. Madison, Don't think just do it." "No." "Help me fix it. Help me save her. Don't fail me now. This is the only thing I have ever asked of you." My hands where trembling holding the hilt was tightly. I gasp and close my eyes pulled the sword back and gave him his last wish. I think I whispered. "I love you" I stared at his eyes. That moment seemed to last forever. His eyes rolled back, he fell to his knees. His was blood on my hands, on my sword. There was a slight sigh from him that little last noise than nothing but sobs. I hugged him and hugged him and cried and cried. Phoenix, I love you.

It had to be said. Maybe I can let him go. I haven't moved on at all. I still live in in Whistler's Point, in my head. And in that moment, his last. I live there too.

I ran in to Jason. He asked me out for coffee. I said yes. I realize now It was a way of letting it all go. Even the hate for Jason. I'm letting all melt away.
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